Monday, 30 June 2014

Three Weeks Away From Three Years

July 24th, 2014 is but three weeks away.

July 24th, 2014 is also three years since I joined my first online dating site.

I bring this up because I got an email today from said company that asked me to 'celebrate' this fact by offering a discount if I chose to subscribe to said service once again. Is it worth celebrating? Or is it worth mourning? Do I just chuckle at the irony of it all?

I have chronicled my whole dating experience extensively, so there's no need to rehash the many bad experiences, or the few good ones.

I will instead tell you a true story.

The very first person I met on the aforementioned dating site was TCF. From the first meeting I knew we had developed a strong connection on so many levels. The ease of conversation was pretty remarkable, we shared many of the same interests, and she was (and is) always fun to be around. We knew this to be true of each other, but we also sensed at roughly the same time that there was nothing romantic about our relationship. We continue to have the strongest of friendships.

About three months after we met, she told me about this great guy that she had met on the same dating website. She first told me about him during one of our trademark conversations, ones that verge on the intensely analytical (this one on a flight back from Sydney). From the way that she described him at that time I sensed that they were an ideal match for each other in ways that you just know instinctively. I told her so at the time.

Two and half years later, almost to the day, I was at their wedding. I don't think I've been happier for anyone in my life. TCF deserves all the happiness that life can provide her. The initial instincts I had about her new husband were accurate. This gives me enormous satisfaction.

Online dating does work for some people, but it doesn't for me. I am too crippled (certainly in body, maybe emotionally, the jury's still out on that one) I am too picky, I am too selfish, I expect too much, I expect too little, I am both too trusting and not trusting enough.

So no thanks, website, I won't accept your discount. Thank you for helping me find TCF plus another equally wonderful and amazing friend, both have helped me in ways big and small. I think you've done your job.

And yet there's still an enormous hole that I need to fill...

Saturday, 21 June 2014

What Partisans Don't Understand About Disability

I had an exchange with Hannah Beazley on Twitter last night (Daughter of Kim and former candidate for WA Labor) in response to a report on young people with disabilities who live in aged care facilities throughout WA:

HB: And Barnett thinks his version of the #NDIS is better…
Me: Its worth noting that this issue is more complex and far more important than partisan point scoring, HB
HB:  I agree. But it’s policies from govt that create/worsen these situations so there’s no escaping the politics.

This ladies and gents is the perfect demonstration of why partisans (of both the Labor and Liberal variety) don't understand disability at all.

The difference between institutionalisation and supported accommodation is the ability for a disabled person to make our own choices. And:

Is it often the difference between life and death.
It is the difference between making a contribution to the community and being isolated.
For some it can mean the difference between poverty and wealth.
It can mean the difference between insanity and sanity.
It is the difference between happiness and depression.
It is the difference between dependence and independence.

It is not the difference between Labor and Liberal.
It has nothing to do with the implementation of the NDIS.
It must not be used as a wedge to strangle political opponents.

Shame on those of you who propagate such nonsense.