Thursday, 28 February 2013

Two Kinds of Love

First — if you are in love — that’s a good thing — that’s about the best thing that can happen to anyone. Don’t let anyone make it small or light to you.
Second — There are several kinds of love. One is a selfish, mean, grasping, egotistical thing which uses love for self-importance. This is the ugly and crippling kind. The other is an outpouring of everything good in you — of kindness and consideration and respect — not only the social respect of manners but the greater respect which is recognition of another person as unique and valuable. The first kind can make you sick and small and weak but the second can release in you strength, and courage and goodness and even wisdom you didn’t know you had.
John Steinbeck: 1958

Wednesday, 13 February 2013


I had to write a Valentine’s Day message for a column that is set to appear on the web tomorrow on that (not so) special day. Maybe I perceive it as ordinary because I have never had the overtly typical dates that you see in Hollywood on Valentine’s Day (probably because I had a curfew and 0 self esteem a serious lack of attractive company). It seems fitting that the comment you will see in the coming days is nasty, vengeful and darkly funny. You could characterize all my attempts at romance in this fashion, really.

Valentine’s Day is so much like New Year’s Eve in the way that the ‘celebration’ is as confected as the expectations it creates. I’ve spent the last decade wishing, and hoping about a number of women who I would charm, seduce and bed all in a single night. This is helpful and sad in equal measure. But it just makes me feel like Ducky.

So this year I have decided to try something different. The biggest problem on Valentine’s Day is that I am a sucker for romance and I think I am entitled to both give and receive some. 2013 is not the year for that as I hoped it would be, so this year I’ve tried something different: instead of watching this, crying for the millionth time and drowning in self pity, I’ve decided to go see this on the big screen with a new friend. Further, I sent a present to another new friend, just because I felt like it. It was nothing romantic, just a present that said ‘I love having you as a new friend’. Not that I am merely doing these things for good karma, but maybe I’ll get to have a little romance on 14/14.

In the meantime...