Complicated

Finding someone who matches what I thought to be my rather simple criteria has proven to be the most challenging aspect of my life. Far harder than undertaking a PhD. I have so far failed to satisfy the majority of my needs.

Here are the scenarios I have encountered (and in some cases more than one applies):

1. A woman is interesting, likes most of the stuff I do, is generally awesome, and is very attractive but only seeks to be friends with me for any number of reasons.
2. I fail to live up to expectations. I am boring because I have substance. I am not a testosterone filled wanker. I love talk politics, philosophy, history, movies, music and literature instead of being a dip shit. This somehow works against me.
3. My credentials are intimidating, and women find it nerve wracking to talk to me (apparently).
4. They hate the whole crippled business.
5. They lead me on despite me being very clear about what I want from the beginning.

So not only do women have to fulfill my needs, we have to avoid the above complications. This has proven to be utterly impossible and frustrating beyond belief. It has become some sort of weird musical number come to life.

The end product I desire seems rather simple to me. How hard could it be to find a good friend who shares common interests, is willing to share intimacy of all kinds and someone who wants respect, love and trust?