'I did not want to finish the year because I know that as the days pass, as January becomes February and February becomes (winter), certain things will happen. All year I have been keeping time by last year’s calendar: what were we doing on this day last year, where did we have dinner… I realised today for the first time that the memory of this day a year ago doesn’t involve (him). (We) did not see a year ago. (We) were dead.' Joan Didon, 2004
This, so much this.
Go read ‘The Year of Magical Thinking’ Your life will become so much better for it. It may change your life like it did mine.